We all know the feeling of loneliness – maybe after losing a spouse, friends moving away, or finding ourselves disconnected from others in our daily life. But did you know that chronic loneliness – the kind that can last for years – can do more than make you feel unhappy? It can be detrimental to your health and even result in early death.
What is loneliness?
Many people assume that loneliness is the result of being isolated, not having contact with people. However, there’s an important distinction between loneliness and social isolation. Social isolation means having few social connections or interactions. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a subjective experience.
A person feels lonely when there’s a discrepancy between their actual and desired level of social connection. In simpler terms, if you perceive yourself as socially disconnected, you’ll feel lonely. Some people spend a lot of time alone, but don’t feel lonely. Meanwhile, others are surrounded by family and friends but still feel terribly lonely.
The dangers of loneliness
Researchers have recently been investigating the health risks of feeling lonely. Dr. John Cacioppo, a psychologist at the University of Chicago, tells us that loneliness undermines our ability to self-regulate and take care of our health and well-being.
Dr. Cacioppo also points to a review of research, published in 1988, which states that “social isolation is on a par with high blood pressure, obesity, lack of exercise, or smoking as risk factors for illness and early death.” In a University of California San Francisco study, researchers assessed loneliness among 1,604 older adults for six years. The results found that lonely individuals were more likely to develop difficulties in performing daily activities such as dressing, bathing, using their arms and shoulders, climbing stairs, and walking.
In people over 60, loneliness was also a predictor of functional decline and death.
How does loneliness make us sick?
So, how does feeling lonely lead to illness and death? A 2003 study in the journal Science showed that when we feel lonely from exclusion, our brains respond in the same way they would when we feel real, physical pain, releasing endorphins to kill pain. A 2011 study showed that people who report chronic loneliness can suffer tissue damage.
This damage occurs when genes that produce an inflammatory response become overactive. Long-term inflammation can lead to heart disease and cancer. Additionally, loneliness activates danger signals in the brain that affect the production of white blood cells, impairing the immune system’s ability to fight infections. Data from the Harvard Aging Brain Study has also reported an association between loneliness and amyloid plaque burden in cognitively normal adults, which is a precursor to Alzheimer’s.
Loneliness feeds on itself
Loneliness can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dr. Cacioppo’s research suggests that the brains of lonely people function differently – they’re more likely to perceive ambiguous social cues negatively, so they tend to assume they’ll be excluded or isolated. Unfortunately, there’s evidence that lonely people can be stigmatized, resulting in people identifying them as weaker, less attractive, and less competent.
Breaking the cycle
To overcome loneliness, you first need to understand that there’s no shame in feeling lonely – any more than in feeling tired, hungry, or cold. It’s also important to remember that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. Feelings can change when exposed to new ideas. Loneliness can distort thinking, so it’s crucial to reach out and get new perspectives. This can be the catalyst to the most necessary step to defeating loneliness: making meaningful connections. Dr. Cacioppo advises, “What’s required is to step outside the pain of our own situation long enough to ‘feed’ others. Real change begins with doing.”
Ways to combat loneliness
Here are some suggestions to help you begin your journey to combat loneliness:
- Seek out social activities that help others while fostering contact with others. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, reading to the blind, and volunteering in a classroom are just a few examples.
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Take up a new hobby. Seek out groups at your local library, YMCA, or church that match your interests.
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Start or join a book group. If you love to read, this can be a great way to discuss books and gain insight into other perspectives.
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Teach something to someone, whether in a school, adult education course, or privately. Imparting your valuable knowledge to someone who needs it provides a vital connection to the world, and a reminder of your value.
By taking these steps to address loneliness, you can make a positive impact on your mental and physical health.
