Have you and your partner lost that loving feeling? Hopefully not. But if you want to know how to keep those embers burning, you may be interested in knowing how other couples are doing it. In one of the largest studies to date that scientifically examines what makes for a long-term satisfied sex life, a few not-so-surprising factors came out on top, including foreplay, setting the mood, mixing it up, and expressing love. But what made this special combination work for the passionately-in-love 40ish-year-old study participants was their commitment to doing these things regularly. It’s proof that to keep the fire burning, you have to stoke it.
Keys to a satisfied sex life
The researchers found that the more satisfied couples reported going the extra mile by planning date nights and setting a romantic mood with candles or music. They also expressed their love in intimate behaviors beyond the sex act by cuddling, sharing gentle and deep kisses, laughing together, and saying “I love you” to their partners during love-making.
Dr. Janet Lever, a co-author on the study, stated, “It was encouraging to learn that more than one-third of couples kept passion alive, even after a decade or two together. That won’t happen on auto-pilot; these couples made a conscious effort to ward off the routinization of sex.”
But not all study participants had managed to hold onto that loving feeling. Other key findings of the What Keeps Passion Alive? study revealed a few interesting details about sexually satisfied couples:
Passionate encounters
Satisfied men and women were more likely to report that their last sexual encounter with their partner was “passionate,” “loving and tender,” or “playful”. Nearly half of sexually dissatisfied women (43 percent) said they were “just going through the motions for my partner’s sake” compared to only 13 percent of sexually dissatisfied men during their last sexual encounter. Few people reported feeling pressured into sex by their partner (2 to 3 percent).
Longer sessions
About half of satisfied men (49 percent) and women (45 percent) reported their last sexual encounter lasted more than 30 minutes, compared to only 26 percent of dissatisfied men and 19 percent of dissatisfied women.
Trying something new
Men and women who enjoyed a satisfied sex life were more likely to say they:
- Tried a new sexual position
- Wore sexy lingerie
- Experimented with sexual toys
- Took a shower or bath together
- Talked about or acted out fantasies
- Gave or had a massage
- Went on a romantic getaway
- Made a date night to have sex
Feeling desired
Feeling desired by their partners appears to be more of a problem for men than for women. Only 42 percent of women reported they felt less desired by their partner now than in the beginning compared to 59 percent of men. In contrast, two-thirds of men compared with half of women reported feeling as much desire, or more desire, for their partner now as in the beginning of the relationship.
Emotional closeness
Most men and women reported feeling the same or more emotional closeness during sex now than in the first six months of their relationship (69 percent of men and 72 percent of women). Less than half of dissatisfied men and women, however, felt this way.
How to implement these findings
While the study itself offers valuable insights, implementing the findings into your own relationship may prove to be a challenge for some couples. To boost the passion and satisfaction in your relationship, consider incorporating the following tips, which stem from these research findings:
Create a loving atmosphere
Take the time to set a romantic mood, whether that means lighting candles or dimming the lights, playing soft music, or even dancing together. Creating a loving atmosphere helps to relax both partners and initiates a deeper emotional connection.
Communicate openly
Be open with your partner about your desires and needs in the bedroom. Communication is paramount when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Discussing fantasies, preferences, and boundaries with your partner can lead to a more fulfilling sex life for both individuals.
Prioritize each other
Make your relationship a priority by consciously scheduling date nights or romantic getaways. Investing in quality time together, away from the distractions of everyday life, can help rekindle the passion and strengthen your emotional bond.
Try new things
Be open to experimenting with new sexual experiences, whether that means trying a new position, using a sex toy, or incorporating role play. Keeping things fresh and fun while feeling safe within your boundaries helps maintain a satisfying sex life.
Express love and affection
Don’t forget the power of cuddling, gentle kisses, laughter, and saying “I love you.” These simple gestures fuel emotional closeness and remind both partners that they are loved and valued.
By incorporating these elements into your own relationship, you may be more likely to maintain that loving feeling and keep passion alive in the long run. The most important takeaway is to make a conscious effort to stoke the flames and prioritize your intimate connection with your partner.
![Boost Your Bedroom Game: Eat These Veggies for Better Sexual Health [INFOGRAPHIC]](https://naturalhealthreserve.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/best-vegetables-sexual-health-infographic-300x168.webp)