Most people, regardless of their background, will tell you they want to be happy. But what does happiness really mean? The definition of happiness is a state of well-being and contentment, joy, and a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Yet, many people report that happiness is elusive or fleeting at best.
Modern happiness experts offer an alternative perspective on what happiness is or can be. Instead of approaching happiness from an “I’ll be happy when” point of view, they suggest that we can choose to experience happiness any time we focus on the simple blessings and joy already present in our lives.
Different Approaches to Happiness
One of the most popular courses at Harvard Medical School is a course on happiness. Taught by Harvard psychology professor Tal D. Ben-Shahar, Ph.D., students often wait a year or longer to enroll in this course. This interest in happiness extends far beyond academic circles, as self-help books and seminars on the topic continue to flourish. But what do these approaches have in common, and how can they help us cultivate happiness? They all invite us to shift our thinking about happiness and look for it in small moments.
Finding Happiness in Daily Life
It’s important to recognize the happiness that already exists in our lives, rather than pursuing it. The following are examples of opportunities for happiness that we often overlook but are all around us:
- The peace and tranquility of rising early in the morning.
- The first taste of food and drink in the morning.
- Listening to birds singing.
- Watching strangers laugh and smile.
- Enjoying natural beauty.
- Working cooperatively with others.
- Curling up with a good book on a rainy day.
- The pleasure of lying down on clean, soft bedding.
- Time with your best friend.
- Being kissed.
- The smell of apple pie baking.
- A moment of love shared with family.
- A home-cooked meal.
- A freshly cleaned bathroom.
- A long, hot bath or shower.
- Music that moves you.
- Sharing stories and memories.
- Being hugged.
- Breathing deeply.
- Completing a task or project.
- Time spent in a garden.
By focusing on these simple pleasures and joys, you can cultivate a sense of happiness despite any challenges or obstacles you may be facing. The key is to shift your awareness to these opportunities and allow yourself to be in the moment. As your attention narrows on these experiences, you’ll begin to feel a sense of gratitude and joy that will spread throughout your day.
Engaging with Others to Increase Happiness
In addition to focusing on life’s simple moments, another way to increase our happiness is by engaging with others. Building relationships and sharing time with friends and family are essential components of happiness. Strong social connections can provide a sense of stability, belonging, and support during difficult times.
Reach out to friends and family members, or join a local club or organization. Commit to attending regular events and actively participating in group activities. By forging these connections, you are not only boosting your own happiness but also enriching the lives of others.
Managing Expectations and Choosing Gratitude
One common thread among various happiness approaches is the importance of managing expectations. Many people set high, unattainable expectations for themselves, and when they fail to achieve them, their happiness suffers.
It’s essential to recognize that life is full of ups and downs, and no one experiences happiness all the time. Avoid placing unrealistic demands on yourself or others, and instead focus on appreciating and cultivating gratitude for the moments of happiness already present in your life.
Taking Action for Happiness
Ultimately, cultivating happiness is an active process that requires your attention and engagement. Make a conscious effort to shift your focus to recognize and appreciate the simple blessings and joy already present in your life. Engage with others to build supportive and meaningful relationships. Manage your expectations, and choose to experience gratitude for what you already have.
By actively participating in your own happiness journey, you’ll realize that happiness is much more attainable than you ever thought possible.
