Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but how we handle and respond to it is up to us. Some people try to avoid dealing with conflict, while others want to immediately resolve things head-on. Instead of attempting to avoid the conflict, it can be constructive to objectively write down our thoughts and feelings and share them with the other person in a way that expresses how we feel and in a method that makes us comfortable, such as in a letter, a greeting card, or an email.
For those who like to tackle conflict head-on, it can be helpful to take a step back and discern whether a particular issue needs to be resolved immediately or whether you can give yourself time to process what has occurred and see the conflict from the other person’s perspective.
Respecting the other person’s experience
Respecting your partner’s or friend’s experience of a particular conflict doesn’t mean you “go along to get along” or that you shouldn’t express your own experience or feelings about it. It means that you respect and consider the other individual’s unique experience of what has occurred and their desire to be seen, heard, and valued just as much as you do.
By being open to accepting what the other person is feeling and what they have experienced, you send the message that you sincerely care about their feelings. Although you may not agree with the other person’s feelings, you bring integrity to the relationship that allows them to be who they are and express how they feel in a safe and non-hostile environment.
Ask yourself: Would you rather be right or be loved?
An essential question to ask ourselves when dealing with conflict in a significant relationship is: do we want to be right or be loved? This simple litmus test can help find balance and a win-win situation for both parties. It also allows us to reflect on what is important in our lives and relationships.
Communication is key to successful relationships
Navigating relational conflicts requires effective communication. Understanding why others behave as they do (and why we behave as we do) can be instrumental in improving relationship communications. One technique to strengthen communication skills is active listening. When someone is speaking, try to listen without judgment, avoid interrupting, and mirror the speaker’s body language. Give the person space to express their thoughts and feelings without trying to offer solutions. This approach can help create a more open dialogue and build trust between both parties.
Find common ground through empathy
One way to resolve conflicts is by finding common ground and focusing on shared interests, values, and goals. Empathy can be a powerful tool in achieving this. By attempting to understand the other person’s perspective and feelings, you can recognize their needs and concerns, which can help you reach a resolution that respects both parties.
Avoid personal attacks and stick to the issue at hand
During conflicts, it can be tempting to bring up unrelated grievances or engage in personal attacks. However, doing so will usually escalate the situation and make it harder to resolve the conflict. Instead, try to stay focused on the issue at hand and express your feelings and thoughts without accusing or blame.
Take breaks if necessary
Sometimes conflicts can become too heated, and it may be helpful to take a break to cool down and collect your thoughts. Stepping away for a short period can help prevent arguments from escalating and give both parties a chance to approach the situation with a clear and rational mind.
Seek guidance from experts or professionals if needed
If the conflict is challenging to resolve, you might consider seeking guidance from friends, mentors, or professionals who have expertise in relationship issues. Talking with a relationship counselor or a therapist can provide valuable insights and advice on how to handle conflicts effectively.
Practice forgiveness and let go
Even after a conflict is resolved, it’s common for lingering feelings of hurt or anger to remain. Practicing forgiveness and letting go of resentment can help strengthen your relationship and pave the way for future conflicts to be resolved more effectively. Remember that nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes. By forgiving one another, you demonstrate empathy and the ability to grow and learn from the situation.
In conclusion
Remember, conflict in relationships is unavoidable; however, it is how you handle and respond to these conflicts that make the difference in creating a strong and healthy bond. By respecting the other person’s experience, focusing on communication, maintaining an empathetic approach, and practicing forgiveness can help you resolve conflicts effectively and create lasting, deep relationships.
